2016 was a ridiculously stressful year for me and from what I hear for many others. I had so much going on in my personal and professional life that I really did let stress consume me and boy did I feel the effects both physically and emotionally.
I would try running on coffee all day because I had no time (or should I say made no time) to eat and then pop a Xanex or anything I could think of that would help me to sleep. Now, I knew and know this is absolutely no way to live but I couldn’t help it and I ultimately could not put myself first and so I just keep spiraling downhill. If at any point I had a few minutes with someone and they tried to ask me how I was doing I would just burst into tears.
To shed some quick light on what was going on: I have 2 small children that are 18 months apart, I have a mother who has been battling cancer for years, I moved back to help my parents from a beautiful sunshine state to CT where I grew up and never wanted to end up, I lost my job that I loved and thought I would have for many years to come and I lost myself. I started getting migraines and then found out I had a recurrence of Lyme disease as well as a new case (meaning I had recently been bit) and I was starting to have my endometriosis pain again.
I tried time and again to help myself. To go back to eating and thinking the way I knew I had to – the way I had been educated on, but I just couldn’t keep up. Every single day there was a new obstacle thrown at me. I felt like I was the target in a shooting range and every day I would endure another shot. It wasn’t until an incident happened that I was quickly jolted into a realization that I could handle everything but needed to get healthy, and so that’s what I am doing now.
January 1, 2017 marked the date that I said to myself enough is enough. I am a strong woman who is going to feel better and I am going to do this by supporting myself and hopefully supporting others along the way. I am in no way perfect and I am going to keep reminding everyone of that, but I will stay strong this time and no matter what 2017 throws at me I am going to handle it without letting it take me down like before.